Perhaps it is worth noting 3 points about the fear that prevents people forming their own identity, when they use those patterns and characteristics as a yardstick instead of a guide:
a) this is a medicalised way to approach a personal need, conflating internal acceptance with the need for validation sine qua non;
b) consequence to the prior point, this fear is a reaction to a hostile environment; and
c) that fear and conflation of needs are not individual flaws at all. They are the individual symptoms of harm from systemic oppression. We are raised with blindspots as to what is reasonable or acceptable to believe about oneself, which is potentially somewhat helpful, but more likely very unhealthy.
Perhaps it is worth noting 3 points about the fear that prevents people forming their own identity, when they use those patterns and characteristics as a yardstick instead of a guide:
a) this is a medicalised way to approach a personal need, conflating internal acceptance with the need for validation sine qua non;
b) consequence to the prior point, this fear is a reaction to a hostile environment; and
c) that fear and conflation of needs are not individual flaws at all. They are the individual symptoms of harm from systemic oppression. We are raised with blindspots as to what is reasonable or acceptable to believe about oneself, which is potentially somewhat helpful, but more likely very unhealthy.